Opening Up The Conception Conversation

A few months back, I was talking to a friend who was in the midst of trying to conceive (TTC). She lamented to me, “I’m smart. I’m resourceful. I’m determined. I’ve researched and researched, but there aren’t any good fertility materials out there. If someone just told me what to do, I would do it. And I’m willing to spend whatever it takes. But I can’t find anything worthwhile. What’s the deal?”

My friend’s experience is not unique. I’ve had many clients express the same dissatisfaction with the current data about infertility.

“It’s incomplete!”

“It’s unreliable!”

“It’s conflicting!”

And the list goes on and on.

Inspired by this, I decided to do a little experiment. I typed “pregnancy” into the search box on Amazon books; it returned 75, 904 results. Then, I typed “infertility” into Amazon, again searching for books: 5,496 results. While 5,496 results might not seem bad, that’s only ~7% of the resources dedicated to getting pregnant as to being pregnant. And many of these books were memoirs of women who struggled with fertility, not instruction manuals on how to improve fertility. Potentially not surprisingly, the same discrepancy was true on Google (313M results for “pregnancy” v. 32M results for “fertility”).

What’s going on here?

First of all, we know that rising infertility is a relatively new phenomenon. The data for dealing with modern-day infertility is in its infancy, compared to other medical interventions.

Second, it’s kind of a taboo topic. Nobody wants to admit to themselves, nevermind others, that they are having trouble getting pregnant. If we don’t talk about it, maybe it will go away…

And finally, many women are taught that getting pregnant is easy-peasy. When the time comes, we will effortlessly waltz into our first trimester without a hair out of place. Our bodies were designed for this, weren’t they? And yes, while our bodies were designed for this, our modern environment was not. We spend most of our lives trying not to get pregnant and it’s not always a seamless transition when we decide to turn the faucet back on, so to speak.

Given this, we need to start a new conversation around conception (and pre-conception!). We focus so much time and energy on not being pregnant and then on being pregnant that we don’t even consider the critical, interim step: getting pregnant.

Getting pregnant deserves a discussion unto itself - how to do it naturally (if you so choose), how to do it joyfully and how to do it as gracefully as possible. Here at Xandara, we hope to open up that important discussion.